Living and Believing

Note: This is a post that doesn’t really have a specific topic, rather, just random thoughts. It starts with something and ends with another. I kept writing whatever was on my mind.

Among the many, uncountable things that I thank God for, one of the things that I am really grateful to God for is that He has made me a person who can affect some people in a positive way. I believe that it truly is a gift. Having people appreciate your positivity and having them tell you that it has effected them in the good way; knowing that you have changed a life indirectly, or directly, is probably the best feeling ever. It sometimes makes me feel like I’ve really lived, or that somewhere along the way, I have done something right, as if I have somehow lived right, up till now. It gives me a weird kind of satisfaction and makes me want to go on, carry on, and light the world with the light inside of me.

Most of the time – actually, in fact, all of the time – I feel like it’s the power of love that creates a light inside of you. Whether it’s the love of God, or your parents, or brother, or best friend, or someone special, if it’s true, it makes you love everything. For example, sometimes if you suddenly start to (or have always) love your mother a lot more than before, it makes you happy. That in turn makes you feel like everything is better, and then it triggers a love for another person, say, your friend. It’s a little confusing but what I’m saying is that sometimes love lights you up and then makes everything get better because love is a feeling that is not limited to one thing or person. I believe that love is a continuous force. It is transferable and it’s like a cycle. I guess in my case, I got love from someone else and that love changed me somehow. It made me a hopeful, positive person. This positivity of mine affected other people around me, and perhaps, that influence changed them and due to this change, people around them got affected and this simply created a whole cycle. It’s like when you really start to love, sometimes you realize what it’s all about, what life is all about and sometimes that makes you love everything else.

All this actually makes me think about how powerful love is. Where hatred and darkness destroys everything, love is a light that shines from between the cracks and lights everything up. It’s a chain reaction. If hate is strong love is 10 times stronger, you just have to believe. I know I am in no place to say this because I don’t know what others are going through and it’s easier said than done. I know that it’s easy to say that you should believe and everything will be okay but you know what? Everyone has their own share of troubles, some people get it tough some people seemingly have it much easier but everyone goes through hell in their own kind of way. Therefore, I can’t let anyone make me think that there is no hope, about anything, because there is and you can’t change what I feel, and what I believe in. Some people just think that I’m wrong in believing in the power of God and love, but I believe that they have no life and they just can’t stand seeing others happy. They believe that they are doing me a favour by telling me that I’m living in a delusion, but they are only wasting their breath because it’s not going to effect me anyway. Living like this actually feels great because I’m now an individual person who has strong beliefs, and faith in God and love and it actually makes me happier than I ever could be.

So well, what I’m saying is that I believe love can change you and can ultimately change the world. I believe that if your beliefs are strong you can make it happen. If you believe, you can make miracles happen. Miracles happen every day. They are the little beautiful, amazing things that you walk past everyday: it’s a person’s change of heart, it’s an innocent child, it’s a mother’s smile, it’s the power of love and belief. It’s everything around you. And everything around you is beautiful, just look closer, and look with a hopeful, believing heart. God’s world is beautiful and He makes miracles happen every day. He will make yours happen too.

This is love…

Note: This is my opinion of love. I do not give anyone any right to say that this is wrong or this doesn’t happen or this isn’t true etc. If you don’t agree with me you can shove your opinion up your ass because I honestly don’t care about it so don’t bother commenting about how you don’t agree with me. Also, by “you” or “they” I mean both of the people. I’m not talking about just one person doing this or feeling this way. I’ve written about both the people experiencing this feeling. And last thing, I have a lot more to say about love, I want to write more but there is so much to write that I don’t know what to write. Things keep coming to my mind. So this is all that came to my mind first. Okay. Thank you.

This is love: loving someone completely and fully. When, their good things fill you with love and their bad things make u fall in love with them all over again. Talking about real serious stuff, but all the while smiling, making jokes and being romantic. Arguing about lame things and then suddenly ending them because you’re suddenly filled with love for them. Then, putting your ego aside and telling them how much you love them and that nothing else matters. . . When, she suddenly cries like an idiot when she thinks that an argument may lead to a huge fight and everything can go wrong. And then him, holding her tight and letting his ego go because he can’t stand making her cry.

Complaining a little about things they don’t do and then suddenly understanding that they already give their every thing to you and then, apologizing to them. Feeling guilty that you don’t give as much as they do and then them, making you understand that whatever you give is enough. Patiently enduring every hardship that comes your way, just because you love each other, because you’re facing it together – because you’re together through it all. Getting worried instantly if you don’t see them smiling or if there is even a slight change in the way they are talking. Respecting their wishes, their opinions and understanding what they are doing and why they are doing it. Loving them for who they are, letting them change and loving the change.  Saying all the time that you want to see them and no matter how much you stare at them its not enough. When, they look amazing and beautiful every time you look at them. When, you keep gazing at them without saying anything because you can’t describe how amazing they are or how beautiful they look. When, you suddenly go quiet because you had started to tell them how they make you feel but couldn’t find the right words and then end up saying just “I love you”.

When, their voice has the power to soothe and comfort you. When, their laughter becomes the most beautiful music you’ve heard that stirs up your soul- your whole existence. When, you fall in love all over again with them for the most ordinary things they do or say. When you tell them every little thing that happens and they listen to every thing patiently and then hug you tight. When, talking to them is your instant remedy for every sadness and mood swing. When, your strongest protection is their arms. When, just the thought of them makes you smile. When, having them in your life makes your life better. When, love gives you strength and does not make you weak. When, you’re fearless of falling down. When, nothing can shake your trust. When, you’re proud of them. When, you’re proud of having them in your life. When, words aren’t enough to describe them; when, words aren’t enough to describe how much you love them. When, nothing else matters but the moment in which you’re together. And when, in that moment, nothing else matters but putting a smile on each others’ face. When, ‘you’ is more important than anything. When ‘you’ matters more than ‘us’. . .

Better than any magic lamp

So I was recently thinking that if I met a genie and was granted 3 wishes, what would I wish for? Then I thought of the 3 wishes, and was adding conditions to one of them when I thought that, that wouldn’t be 1 wish, that would become 2 wishes, and that wish is less important than that other wish. Which wish should I choose? :/ While thinking that, I realized, that when I ask God for things, I don’t have to choose if I should ask for that thing or this thing because I have only a limited amount of wishes to wish for. When asking God, I can ask for as much as I want. There is no 3 wishes limit. You can ask for whatever you want and have the wishes granted, and sometimes, even get something better than what you asked for… All you have to do is stay loyal to Him… My God has no limits. He is the Ultimate. He listens to you whenever you want to talk to him. And He grants you as many wishes as you like… <3

2011 – an amazing year <3

So… another year is almost over… and like a lot of other people, I’m going to write about my 2011. Overall, it was a very good year. I had a lot of downs but the downs were overshadowed by the love given to me from some of the most amazing people of my life and that’s what makes 2011 the best year of my life.

2011 started with both happiness and sadness. I had a very amazing experience at the start of 2011 and even though that experience was enough to make me forget about the sad things, unfortunately my foolishness didn’t let that happen. So, I spent the whole month of January weeping and felt like this was going to be the worst year of my life. I even wrote in my diary, “it feels like 2007 all over again” (2007 was the worst year of my life). But then things changed and got better. Good things, in small amounts, started to happen and before I knew it, God was making things great again.

It was in the first half of 2011 that I made a decision for which I’m always going to be proud of myself. I decided to let go of my past and be happy. One of the best things about 2011 was that I decided to do something for myself and let myself be free and happy. I read somewhere that some people in your life only love you for the things you do for them, for the sacrifices you make but when you start to do something for yourself they suddenly start having problems. They start objecting and criticizing and I guess that’s where their love ends but I’m glad I realized this and stood my ground so I could do justice to myself.

One thing that happened in this year which seems very small but means a lot to me was that I made a very beautiful birthday gift for someone. I had never worked this hard on a gift. It took almost a month for me to prepare it but when it was done, my efforts totally paid off. It was the best gift I’d ever made and the person to whom it was gifted simply loved it! According to him, it was the best gift he had ever received!

One of the worst parts of 2011 was my birthday. Unfortunately, my birthday was completely ruined because of an extremely silly misjudgment I made. It was so silly and lame that whenever I think about it I want to punch myself in the face. But I guess possessiveness makes everyone do some weird and funny things they later regret.

I don’t have any memories from May at the moment as my memory’s sort of a blur right now, but I remember June. It was another twist in the year. The beginning of June was the best time of the year. It sort of felt like, my imagination had come to life or something. But later in the middle of June something that I had expected to happen didn’t happen. And the time that followed was a bad, bad time   Anyway, in July, I went for Umrah. The experience was simply amazing minus the part where my Grandmother was a constant pain in the butt. I can’t exactly describe my experience and feelings about it because I feel that religious things should be kept to oneself so I’ll leave it at that.

When I came back from Umrah, I continued to have sort of a bad time but then in August things changed. I realized some very good and useful things. It was as if waves of positivity were penetrating my skin and up till now, they have continued to do their job. I finally realized that my life is freaking amazing. I realized that I’m the luckiest person in this world because I don’t have much to lose except for everything to lose. It’s probably confusing but it is something truly awesome for me, it just felt good to look forward to just one thing in your life that matters the most. And that feeling made me smile all the time. I also realized that I was experiencing exactly the kind of love I had considered love and wanted to experience. People say that love sets you free. It gives you true happiness. It helps you discover yourself, discover the world. It makes you a better person or at least gives you a better understanding of yourself and of the world. It helps you chase your dreams. It is just the best feeling in this world. And I was finally realizing that all this was true. But… In a month or so, feelings of sadness started to cloud me again and the happy waves were not working properly. By September, I was feeling gloomy again because bad things were happening. I started having some family problems and a person extremely close to me started having some serious problems which got me extremely worried. That time was hell for me because first, I felt a little lonely and second, I kept worrying all the time. It was unbearable for me that someone so important to me was going through a pathetic time and I couldn’t do anything about it…

By the mid of October things started getting very good. I had another one of the best times of 2011. Things started getting normal and happy again. Also, one of my old friends contacted me and after a lot of thought I became friends with him again and after becoming friends with him I got a well deserved apology from him. It was the perfect apology I had waited for, for almost a year. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel anything after reading it. I felt bad about not feeling anything because I had finally got what I had wanted. But I still appreciated it because no one has ever apologized to me like that. I just wish that I could have at least felt happy. I wish that I could have become friends with him the way I used to be (even though I was also hoping that I don’t) but I just didn’t feel anything or care anymore…

So the rest of the year went perfect except for my 1^st year/11^th grade result and it was really bad. It was not at all what I had expected and what made me angry was our Board and its corrupt system. I know that if my papers could have been checked fairly I would have got awesome marks because I am confident that I did great. The 4-5 days that followed my result were pathetic but soon I recovered and life was good again.

My college life also started to become awesome. In fact, right from the start of 12^th grade, it became much, much better. I actually started to consider a few people my friends and up till now my college life has been good. When my result came out, there was one very good thing that I got to experience. My classmates and specially my group friends were all there for each other (majority got a bad result, it was unexpected) and they all tried to make each other feel better. We all tried to support each other and make each other smile. It was as if we were sisters. And one of these friends was also the reason why I let go of my bad result. I found a very good friend in her and I love her for supporting me and also sharing my happiness with me.

Another good thing about 2011 was that my best friend and I somehow bonded in a different way. I don’t know how exactly, I don’t know how to describe it but I think our bond got sort of stronger. It is probably because we started to talk more and because we started to support each other more. Throughout the year she was with me through each and every one of my good as well as bad times and shared all my joys and sorrows with me <3 (and so did I).

My bond with my mom also strengthened in 2011. I now talk to her about many of my problems and it makes me happy to have her with me. Seeing her makes me really happy and makes me smile. I don’t know the reason to that but I do know that for me it’s a very good thing.

Very good days of my life started after mid October. And now everything about my life is good. In a way, I’ve started to live in the present. I feel good and happy about everything. Almost everything makes me happy. Even if something bad happens to me, it doesn’t take long for me to get over it and be happy again. I have someone in my life who makes me happy, who makes me smile. I now know my own worth, my own importance and how special I am. I feel great when I smile. Probably because I know that my smiles are not fake. I can now finally smile for myself. My smiles now depict my happiness. I have someone to smile for. My smiles finally have a meaning. Even when I am sad, I can now always find a reason to smile. I guess what they said about love really was true…

So, overall 2011 was an awesome year. Even though I lost many people I don’t regret it all because in return I got my strength, freedom, and happiness back. The bad times don’t really matter to me (seriously, I had to open up my diary and make a lot of effort to remember the bad times so I could write about it) because 2011 brought me countless good times and memories which I will cherish for the rest of my life. I shared my happiness and sorrows with the two people I love the most (after family of course) and I had them with me through thick and thin and that is what matters the most to me. These two people made 2011 worthwhile, and in fact, these are the two people who make my life worthwhile. So to these two amazing people of my life: I love you from the bottom of my heart and thank you for making me what I am now. Thank you for giving me all those reasons to be happy again.

 

End Note: I thank God for making 2011 an amazing year for me  and I pray to Him that my next year goes even better and anyone who reads this has a great 2012 as well I am also extremely thankful to God for giving me all that He has given me and for making me all that He has made me. Love You Allah <3

Of strength and selflessness…

Author’s Note: This is a short message for someone important in my life and I posted it here because… well I felt like it. It’s probably because when I’m proud of someone or when I start to have a lot of respect for someone, I like to tell everyone about it and let everyone know how amazing that person is…

 

I am proud of you. I’m proud of everything you are and of everything that you do. I’m proud of you for your strength. It’s amazing how strong you are, facing everything head on and standing your ground. Even after going through every kind of trouble all at the same time, you manage to stay just as firm as always. Life pushes you down but you manage to stand right back up and that’s what makes you, you. I know that at times you feel like there’s no way out and everything is just wrong but believe me you have the strength to make it all okay and you have the strength to stand back up. I’m also proud of you for your selfless-ness. Your love is pure and unconditional for everyone around you. It’s like you are a blessing to all the people who have you in their lives. Very few people have the ability to prefer other people’s happiness over their own at all times and you are one of those people. No matter how busy you are or how important your work is, you will be there for the important people in your life whenever they need you. Your selfless nature is what makes you the most amazing person in my life.

You sort of remind me of water and the sea. It’s pure and clear but it has immense strength. It can be calm and beautiful but when it is roused, it has the power to destroy everything in its path. So may be no one appreciates you, no one realizes the sacrifices you make, and no one can see how sincere you are with them but I want you to know that I can see all that. May be no one else sees all these things in you and is not proud of you but I am proud of you. I’m proud of the person you are. I’m proud of your strength and selflessness. Sometimes, you might think that all that you do is going to waste because no one can see it or no one cares but I want you to know that I can see it and I care. And seeing all this, your sincerity, your love, your care and the strength you have, fills me with utter respect for you. I have never had so much respect for anyone in my life and I’ve never been this proud of anyone else.

Types of people with low self-esteem

Author’s note: I was becoming extremely annoyed because of some people around me so thought of writing this =p enjoy

 

• The glass-is-half-empty person

This type of person just can’t stand other people being happy. As a matter of fact, this type of person can’t even see himself be happy. He is always there to take out the negativity in every damn thing, which is also the reason why he is never happy with himself either. When he gets something, he mourns over why he couldn’t get it in a specific way. If he gets 90/100 marks in a test, he cries for those 10 marks. If he gets 80, he cries for “at least” 90. When he sees others happy he can’t stand it and tries to dig out every wrong thing in their lives and throw it in their faces. When people don’t react or stay happy with their life, this person continues to be a douche bag by creating problems for them himself.

 

• The I/he/she/mom/they-am/is/are-always-right person

This type of person always believes what others tell him and then forms his own opinion based on whatever he hears. He never tries to find out the actual truth but relies on rumors. If you try to contradict this person he will turn into a horrendous crocodile and eat you up. He never tries to think about the situation logically but rather prefers to consider those things the truth which is told to him either by a lot of people or by someone close to him. Yes, this is also the person who can never listen to someone contradict his mom. If mom said eating bread is unhealthy, there is no way this person will believe you if you prove the opposite with facts. If 10 people told him that XYZ was the best computer in the world, it will remain the best for him no matter what. This person has such a low self-esteem that forming his own opinion based on what he only hears has become a part of him. Arguing with this idiot is useless because no matter what, he will always remain the only sensible person in this world.

 

• The victim of inferiority complex

This type of person is always infected with inferiority complex and always thinks that other people are better than him. Now I know that there are degrees of people with inferiority complex but I’m talking about the highest or the second highest degree here. Such a person is usually seen sighing and pouting as soon as someone richer (in money or anything else) than him passes by him. He also whines about the “unfairness” of life or of the people around him and waits all his life for a genie to appear and grant him all that he wants. This type of person generally starts to feel inferior to everyone in every aspect as time passes by and later turns out to be a failure at everything.

 

• The copycat

This person will do anything he can to get some attention, even copy others. This person will copy your style, your husband’s way of talking, your brother’s jokes and your sister’s hair. As a result his personality becomes the way Lady Gaga looks. He seems funny at first but as time passes he becomes extremely annoying and later a pain in the ass. Usually, this person has been a total nobody in the past so now he tries to get attention by becoming a box stuffed with bits and pieces of every “attractive” thing in sight (also known as puke, or a bag of garbage).

 

• The crowd-follower

A person who follows the crowd is a modified version of the person who forms his opinions based on other people’s beliefs. Such people are very commonly found in the typical Pakistani society. Yes, these are the people who will start humming lame Indian songs like “dance pe chance” or “kolaveri di” just because they are going viral in India or people who will rush to the cinema to watch shit like “Ra-One” because it has “Shahrukh Khan” and because Indian media is promoting it. Oh of course, it is obligatory for us to like Indian things because, well, they are the reason why we are alive right? These people will start to “like” everything others like and if you tell them you don’t like it, their eyes will pop out, their mouth will gasp and their expression will be of total disbelief. For them, you will become an alien being just because you hate the senseless bullshit they “love”.

Smile

Happy looks good on everyone. A smile makes everyone look better. So if you think you aren’t good looking enough, smile. If you feel bad, smile and may be someone will return that smile which will really make you want to smile. Smile, may be it makes the day of someone feeling as worse as you. Smile, because it is your right. Smile, because you deserve it.

I’m smiling for you, because whoever you are, you deserve it and because you’re beautiful.

I am Strong and Free

Author’s Note: FINALLY, I wrote something about my life after a long, long time. It feels good to finally write about it all at last. Anyway, this post is about my life and the things I’ve gone through. Don’t read if you don’t like to read emotional things about people’s lives. This post might also not make sense, be contradictory, and have jumbled, disorganized thoughts.

I recently realized that I am a strong person. I have been through a lot and all of that has somehow made me strong. I got betrayed by my friends, got spat on, insulted to the very limits, and tortured till I broke down. The worst part about all this was that the people, that I considered my strength and support did that. It was very hard. Like the hardest thing that I’d ever experienced. My so-called “friends” claimed to “love” me. I bet they don’t even know the meaning of love. If you really love a person you are supposed to forgive that person. If that person chooses to live their life the way he/she wants, you are supposed to understand that and be happy for them. Even if he/she chooses to leave you, you should be happy because the person you love is happy. I never chose to leave anyone. Maybe I preferred to give more time to other people than I did to those “friends” of mine. And that was probably for a while. It could have been just a phase I was going through. I never changed my priorities. I never chose someone else over them. It was just that someone else was added to my list of priorities, someone who became as important to me as those “friends” were. So what if I gave them less time and preferred to be happy and free for a while? So what if I didn’t tell them some specific things and chose to lie to hide it? People lie all the time. I know I was seriously wrong and I apologized to them repeatedly for hurting them etc. but they just couldn’t understand. They probably couldn’t see me happy with someone other than them. They just couldn’t forgive me even though they knew how sorry I was and even though they claimed to love me and care about me. Heck, they insulted me in public like I was their worst enemy. People don’t even insult and abuse their enemies like that (or maybe they do but that was something seriously sick). Even though they claimed to love me, they insulted me, my feelings, my love, and my loved ones. Thinking about all that makes me feel like I never knew them. I know that I did some wrong things but for God’s sake, I have my own life too and if I chose to hide something from them or give more time to someone else doesn’t mean that they now have the license to suddenly make me their enemy and do whatever they want to me! But I guess they couldn’t realize that I am a free person and that I am not bound by anyone. Love doesn’t mean that you use someone’s weaknesses and bound them to the point that you take away their free will from them. I realized this now that when I was with them, I was completely bound, like I couldn’t do anything. I chose not to do or say what I wanted just because I knew that those “friends” wouldn’t like it, just because those “friends” would get angry because of it. I spent all my time thinking about the things I might be doing to make them angry. All I did was to try to please them. Their behaviour caused me to be caged, to care about what people think, to stay confined and not be free. But they couldn’t change who I was, and who I wanted to be. They couldn’t change my thoughts and the person I was or the person I was becoming. And now that they are gone, I feel free. I feel like I can do whatever I want. I can be a free bird and fly around. I’m free of all those silly cares. I can now be myself. I am not afraid anymore. Now, I can proudly say to anyone, who doesn’t approve of me or my behaviour or my words, that this is the way I am and that they can leave me if they don’t like the way I am. And the best part is that I can actually feel the freedom and the happiness. I can feel the feeling of independence that the act of ‘being myself’ brings.

These “friends” were the best part of my life and I used to literally thank God for giving me such great friends. I used to feel lucky for having such friends. I was emotionally very close to them and they meant so much to me that even thinking about leaving them was impossible for me. I couldn’t bear thinking that I might have to leave them someday. However, after making a move to try to be free, the time that I spent bearing their torture somehow made me strong later. The times when they were not there when I needed them, when they seemingly swore to insult me every time they talked to me, when they couldn’t be happy for me, when they just couldn’t forgive me, when they couldn’t understand and when they hurt me till I broke down, gave me enough pain. The pain was even more than the pain I could have got by leaving them. I had suffered for many months. I suffered in two ways. One was by blaming myself and second was by the pain given by them. After many months, a time came when I stopped blaming myself. A time came when I stopped crying, when I stopped letting them push me down, when I chose to stand up for myself. I rose and I defended myself. It made me happy to be able to stand up. I felt happy to defend myself. I was courageous enough to answer them back. I was courageous enough to stand against them. I was finally courageous enough to actually let them go.

I had a choice, whether to leave or stay. I could have chosen to stay; I could have chosen to indirectly tell them that I am weak without them (which I was not anymore). I could have done that for the sake of old times, for the sake of the love that we once shared; for the sake of the love that they claimed to still feel for me (but I didn’t anymore). I could have done that, but I didn’t. I chose to let it go, I chose to be free. I knew that I may regret my decision and it was a big risk but I decided to take a risk. I knew that whatever might come, it couldn’t be worse than the torture I had experienced in the previous months. I knew that I couldn’t hold on to a love that wasn’t there anymore. I couldn’t punish myself again. I owed that much to myself.

After I had taken that decision, I didn’t regret it at all. Whatever, came was not bad at all, let alone being worse. I didn’t feel any pain or regret over the risk I had taken and I was very happy to let go of them. A few of them came to apologize but I couldn’t take them back. I had moved on and it was about time they faced the music too. I was very happy with my life and I didn’t need any of them back in my life. But that is not exactly main the point. The main point is the first line of this post. This whole event that took place over a course of around 7 months taught me a lot of stuff but most importantly it made me strong. I suffered a lot and the whole situation could have forced me to make some crazy drastic steps or decisions, had I not had the support of a very shining star in my life. Well, actually two but where one of them listened to me whine and cry about all those problems, helped me to try and let go of them, to let it all out, the other one gave me all the strength I needed. He gave me all the support and love that I required. After the patience and courage that Allah gave me (of course), he became the source of my strength. He became the light that I needed to find my way out of the darkness, the warmth that kept me sane, and the love that kept me happy despite all the troubles of life. The thought of having him in my life, created a spark of light inside me and that spark lighted up the whole inside of me. I used to think of way to get rid of my troubles but when I used to talk to him; my troubles always seemed to vanish. It felt like life was just perfect and I didn’t need the solution to anything. I didn’t feel like thinking about the darkness that was inside me because he was making it all disappear. He always brought a smile to my face and just thinking about him used to make me feel like I’m not alone and that the whole world was on my side.

I had (and still do) believed that everything happens for a reason and it happens for the best. And as always I was right. It did happen for the best. I am very grateful to God for making the whole thing happen. It gave me a lot of pain, it broke me apart but it made me strong, it taught me, among many other things, to stand up and fight for myself. It also showed me the true face of those “friends”. It also made me realize my priorities. It showed me who my true friends are and who are the people who deserve me. It taught me to realize the worth of my mother and made me give her the time she deserves and expects from me (there is a long explanation to that which is not necessary here as it is something too personal and family related). And the best thing that the whole thing brought me was the love I needed and deserved. It brought me the most special person of my life.

End Note:

“he” (you know who you are): I love you for making me the strong person that I am right now, for giving me all your love, for setting me free and for making me the person I am right now <3

“one of them” (you know who you are too =p): I love you for helping me let go of everything, for letting me take my sorrows out on you. For being so patient with me

Complete opposites: love and relationships

Love and being in a relationship are the complete opposites of each other. Yes, I know that many eyebrows will be raised by the statement but to me it is true. According to my definition of love, when you love someone truly, you are supposed to accept that person the way he/she is. In fact, when you love someone, you love them wholly, every part of that person. Love is not about loving the particular way a person does a particular thing, or the way they look, smile, laugh. It is also about loving how they are rude, angry, and sad; the way they behave selfishly when facing certain problems. In short, it is about loving every single thing about that person.

Love is about not complaining or demanding anything from that person. It’s about understanding the person’s problems, dreams, plans, and considering them your own. If you’re hurt by something that your loved one does, you are supposed to endure it without complaining. If you need your loved one to be there and he/she isn’t, you’re supposed to be patient and not demanding. In other words, when you truly love someone, you are not supposed to expect anything form that person.

I’m sure that reading all this will be pretty annoying for some people. It may be that some people don’t even understand what I’m talking about, but well, let me elaborate. Let’s consider an example: you’re in love with someone but that person isn’t in love with you. Now, if that person ignores you, doesn’t talk to you, doesn’t give you time or is not there for you when you need him/her, can you really blame him/her? He/she has not made any commitment to you and it is definitely not his/her fault that you’re in love with him/her. What can you do then? You’ll either find a way to deal with it yourself or you will suffer alone. Similarly, when you are in love with someone, you don’t love that person just so that he/she will love you back. You are not supposed to expect that person to have the same feelings for you. It sure is human nature to hope that the person you love loves you back but if that person doesn’t, you can’t blame them. Neither do they have a control over their feelings and nor do you.

Now let’s talk about relationships. When you’re in a relationship, you’re allowed to do a lot of stuff that shouldn’t be done if you’re in love with someone. For example, you are allowed to demand, complain and interfere in a person’s life. If this is the case, then this makes relationships the complete opposite of love and the above explanation justifies this statement.

I believe that if you complain about something that you don’t like about the person you love, or be angry with that person because he/she didn’t do what you told him/her to do, or behave badly with him/her because he/she doesn’t give you time or treat you the way you want to be treated, you’re just insulting your own love. It just means that you don’t love the person completely. And when you are in a relationship, you are allowed to do all that. It feels like relationships simply contradict love. I know that it is not possible for most of us to not complain or demand (unless you are in an open or in a different kind of complicated relationship :/). May be we can’t even love that way… Or may be I’m just too messed up in the head and looking at it only one way, but this is just one of the completely random things that popped into my head and something that I’m going through right now as well. Yes, I have nothing to say after this so I will leave this post somehow unfinished. I’d like to know about people’s opinions on this subject so please do comment (i.e. if there is still someone who’s willing to read my blog posts).

Chances :)

I took a chance, and I’m happy. At least happier than I was before taking the chance.

Author’s Note: Take chances. You never know what you might find <3